An article detailing recommendations from a Mayo Clinic psychiatrist.


These are the eleven signs that indicate immediate attention is needed:

• Feeling very sad or withdrawn for more than two weeks.
• Seriously trying to harm or kill yourself, or making plans to do so.
• Sudden overwhelming fear for no reason, sometimes with a racing heart or fast breathing.
• Involvement in many fights, using a weapon, or wanting to badly hurt others.
• Severe out-of-control behavior that can hurt yourself or others.
• Not eating, throwing up, or using laxatives to make yourself lose weight.
• Intense worries or fears that get in the way of your daily activities.
• Extreme difficulty in concentrating or staying still that puts you in physical danger or causes school failure.
• Repeated use of drugs or alcohol.
• Severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships.

I love this post about the facts and myths regarding emotions.  

In case you don't have time to click and read the entire thing, I will post the basic statements.  
Myth #1: Feelings are facts
Myth #2: Emotions are "good" or "bad"
Myth #3: Emotions are "right" or "wrong"
Myth #4: Negative emotions should be prevented/stopped
Myth #5: "Happy" people don't feel negative emotions
Myth #6: If I let myself feel this emotion, it will overwhelm me
Myth #7: If I show emotion, people will think I'm weak
Myth #8: The emotion will pass faster if I a) suppress it, or b) vent.


As you spend time with your co-workers, neighbors, friends or family this holiday season, pay attention to their attitudes toward emotions.  

In this article, writer Heidi Rinella, does a good job of discussing the importance of realistic expectations.  

We can't expect ..."that people are going to show up and things are going to be different, that people are going to behave differently in our family than they do the 11 other months of the year. Your mother or father or sister ... aren't going to change just because of the holidays."

I recommend that you:
Have a plan and be proactive.  Do not be reactive.  Find some innocuous phrases and a few direct ones.   If you have to, practice in front of mirror a dozen times.  Strategize ways to get a break and get away periodically.  Try to get enough sleep, eat some healthy meals, and get a bit of exercise.

When I was a young teen, and full of typical teen angst, I loved Kahil Gibran.   I don't really remember what it was that I liked in his writing --  it's been 30 years.  A friend recently posted the following piece by Gibran.  As I read through it, there are certainly poignant truths in it.  But there are also connotations that I don't really agree with.  What do you think of it?

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

This isn't your typical "get your turkey and stuffing done ahead of time" post.  It is an acknowledgment that holidays are very difficult for some people.  There are families who almost appear to celebrate nastiness, criticism, and hurtful comments rather than thankfulness and warm memories.

As we march toward Thanksgiving ... and then Christmas..., I will periodically offer ideas and resources to help you cope.  

This article is a good one.  

Researchers continue to find positive correlations between eating dinner together as a family and positive benefits for the children.  When I was growing up, we had rules against reading at the table and singing at the table.  I need to ask my parents about that last one.  When my children were younger, the rule was no TV at dinner.  In this article, one of the recommendations is "no screens" at dinner  --  TV, computer, and texting can interfere!

Regardless of the way you phrase your guidelines, make dinner together a priority as often as you can.